2011 Memory Lane photo scan

Grandapa's gifts

My sweet Grandfather was a gem. When I was little I was in the hospital often with JRA and Lupus. I had to have shots and tests and my cute grandpa would drive up to Primary Children's Hospital in the Avenues and sit with me while I was poked and prodded as I hated needles. I think about that now as an adult and see the love and sacrifice. I now know what it is to get out of a warm bed in the winter while it is still dark outside, and he was in his 70s. He was a widow by then and he had started into the early stages of Alzheimer's. I see him so often in my brother and cousin. They are both tall and thin like he was. They have the posture and walk he had. They even have some of his kind temperament and soft spoken humor. He was so fun. I remember one time when he let me eat whipped cream for dinner, Grandma was not happy. He used to blow straws at us in public. He had these incredible journals where he poured his heart out and talked about how much he loved us and worried for us and prayed for us. He leaves a written testimony of his believe in Jesus as the Christ and in the Gospel being restored to the earth. He talks of his love of fishing and the deep pain he felt at losing his sweetheart. I have never heard of a man so in love as he was with her. He would buy 2 Christmas trees and saw one apart to make her dream tree. He tenderly cared for her. We all adored him, we still do. I can't wait for him to meet Scott. They will be great friends, with so much in common. As I watch my friends bury their grandparents (poor Sonya had both hers die within a week of each other) I wonder what it would be like to have an adult relationship with mine. They were all dead by the time I was 10. What is it like to have family all around? There is something magic in the whole generation gap. Like Rita says "Grandparents and grandkids are such great friends because they share a common enemy." Grandpa really left us some many wonderful gifts and examples. My little brother (who I miss so much it still hurts) reminds me of my grandpa.

Can Ghosts send messages?

These last months have been some of the very hardest of my entire life. It seems each time I turned around another avalanche of pain or stress was crashing around me. I really believe if I could have just laid the burdens at Gods feet and humbled myself to his will I would have had an easier time lifting the loads. But I am stubborn and have a hard time trusting. I like to fool myself into thinking I am in control- ha ha. Like any of us is in control. We are all totally dependant on God. The helping hand we seek is most often at the end of our own wrist so I don't say just sit back and wait for God to do for you what you can do for yourself. I just wonder if I made the year worse by not really trusting in God. I know he is aware of my little triumphs which are very small in the whole scheme of life but very big to my development as a daughter of God on this earth.

Here I am as a little baby. I look happy, I always love a photo shoot. I know that I have always been overly sensitive and too tender hearted. I even have a letter from my dad dated 1986 stating this fact. I don't like it-- so over the last years I have been working on a hard heart. One of the mistakes of a hard heart is you don't see blessing and miracles as easy that are surrounding you.

For example while I sat at the hospital with Aunt Sue I would hear this lullaby playing. This would not have been a big deal except it has big significance to me. Before my grandma died the last gift she gave to me was a little white wind up cat that plays this same tune. So as I would hear this I would look around and no one else would react. I started to think the 7 days of no sleep was driving me mad. I asked Aunt Sue and she could not hear it. It would play at random times through out the day. I found out later they play it when a baby is born. Then at shift change a new nurse came in and said "Hi my name is Sylvia". Not to strange-- then the nurse aid came in "Hi my name is Rose," and the music played on. Sylvia and Rose are not common names you hear everyday. They especially are not heard together-- by me at least. My grandma (who gave me the cat) name was Sylvia Rose. So when Aunt Sue heard the Rose and Sylvia she was sure that my grandma was talking to me beyond the veil. The only question is... what was she saying?

Loves of my life... Fables

I love stories. One of my favorite memories is when my Mom , Grandma, or Aunt Sue would read me a story. I thought I would like to start adding some of my favorites to my journal. Here is the first one where President Spencer W. Kimball told the following fable to illustrate how pure thoughts and righteous living affect us:
“Lord George had led an evil life. He had been a drunkard, a gambler, and a cheat in business, and his face reflected the life he had led. It was a very evil face.
“One day he fell in love with a simple country girl to whom he proposed marriage. Jenny Mere told him that she could never marry a man whose face was so repulsive and so evil-looking; and also that when she did marry, she wanted a man with a saint-like face, which was the mirror of true love.
“Following a custom of the day, Lord George went down to Mr. Aeneas. … Aeneas made waxen masks for people, and his skill was so art-perfect that the person’s identity was completely hidden. … Aeneas went to his storeroom, selected a mask, heated it over a lamp, fixed it to Lord George’s face; and when Lord George looked in the glass, he had the face of a saint who loved dearly. So altered was his appearance that Jenny Mere was soon wooed and won.
“He bought a little cottage in the country, almost hidden in an arbor of roses, with a tiny garden spot. From then on his entire life changed. He became interested in nature; he found ‘sermons in stones, books in brooks, and good in everything.’ Formerly he was blasé and life had no interest for him; now, he was engrossed in kindliness, and the world around him.
“He was not content with starting life anew, but tried to make amends for the past. Through a confidential solicitor he restored his ill-gotten gains to those whom he had cheated. Each day brought new refinements to his character, more beautiful thoughts to his soul.
“By accident, his former companions discovered his identity. They visited him in his garden, and urged him to return to his old evil life. When he refused, he was attacked, and the mask was torn from his face.
“He hung his head. Here was the end of all; here was the end of his new-found life and his love dream. As he stood with bowed head, with the mask at his feet on the grass, his wife rushed across the garden and threw herself on her knees in front of him. When she looked up at him, what do you suppose she found? Line for line, feature for feature, the face was the same as that of the mask. Lines of beauty—regular features.”
President Kimball concluded the story, saying, “There is no doubt that the life one leads, and the thoughts one thinks are registered plainly in his face” (as quoted in Conference Report, Apr. 1975, 119–20; or Ensign, May 1975, 80–81).

So Excited!!!

Last night I found a photo of my Grandma Sylvia Rose:) I looked at it for so long. While I was doing this songs came on the radio that were our songs from when I was little. Than today I had the feeling to type her name into the Internet. YIPEE!!! They have a special collection of her works at the Harold B. Lee Library at BYU in the L Tom Perry section. There are tons of poems, songs, plays, history, journals-- all by her:) I am trying to add the link here but it won't work.
It is collection MSS 1495. Here is the link to try from...

http://ead.lib.byu.edu:8080/Ead/ead_viewdoc.jsp?eadid=MSS1495.xml

I called BYU they told me I can go down for a day and view the entire collection. They said it would take atleast a day. When I was young I use to write all the time, entering contests, loving writing. I think I may take it up again. My grandma was a marvel. She was the most creative person I have ever known. What talent. She and my grandpa were so in love and had the most fun parties for their friends. One was an upside down party and they put furniture on the ceiling. He would buy her two Christmas trees and take branches off one to make a perfect one to decorate. She built a cabin in Island Park. She served in YW for years in the Parley Stake and I meet people who adored her. I can't wait to go see what BYU has:) I guess when she died BYU asked my grandpa if he would donate her entire works. He must have said yes. I'm so glad. One of the memories I love is when I would go with Grandma and Mom to shop at ZCMI. They would get me a hot dog with an orange bang. We would also stop by neighbor hood bakery or glause bakery and get a cup cake.