The moral of the story...

This photo reminds me of how these plants multiply which made me think of all the blessings we have had multiplying in our lives. Scott used to head up the merchant service department for Bank One Utah. He became friends with Angela who at the time worked for US Bank. They would compare notes and refer business. When Angela heard Scott had been laid off she got Scott an interview with the VP for Wells Fargo where she is now the head hancho for Utah. Her boss is a great man who lives in Colorado. Scott had a phone interview and last week went to an in person interview in St. George where we would have been living. They loved Scott! Today they created a job for him to bring him aboard. It will be classified as a temp position but at the very latest Jan 2010 they will bring him on as permanent:) He will be working out of Salt Lake with several of the branches but we do not know yet which ones. They asked him when he would like to start and he decided either July 15 or 30th. That way he can get a backpacking trip in with his brother and nephews and help his wife get out form under some of the boxes that she is trapped under.

I know I am prejudice but I just ADORE this amazing man. He spoils all of us and is really the person I choose to be with 24/7 over anyone else. I love ow I feel about myself when I am with him and how safe I am around him. We are very different but the overlap areas are awesome and we have so much fun together. Plus he is my dreamboat hunk. His hair has gotten more blond and his skin tan from all the outside work he has been doing. It is really gross how much stuff we have collected over the last 15 years. EBay here we come. So with my cool new job and not having to pay rent and getting a salary we will be able to save all his income which is more than he was making at his last job. Which means we could pay cash for the new house.

The moral of this story is two fold. First of all, I need to trust God, all the time no matter what. He has never let me down and even when I think all is lost He always saves the better part for me. It does not happen the way I think it should or plan on it happening but it is always better. He has our best interests at heart. I have got to trust him better and not be so controlling. Pres. Hinckley always said that things always work out-- he is right. It is not a free from pain or toil road but it also is a path that you never have to be alone on.

The second moral is life on earth in business is all about WHO You KNOW. It is not about degrees or experience-- not that they are a bad thing. But both of the jobs we have are because of who we knew. I guess it also helps to have interviewing skills and to not burn bridges, my dad was always trying to teach me to not burn bridges. Wouldn't it be cool if I could learn these morals before I die and head on to the next chapter? We can only hope because what good are low hopes anyways:) Here is to Scott landing a job and me learning something sometime soon.

Flying the friendly skies

Guess What? I have flown a ton of times and I am still alive. It kind of makes my fear silly when I keep not dying in an airplane. I have a friend who tells me that it is more likely I will have a baby than crash in a plane. Since I do not have the right parts to carry a baby I laugh when she says this but I think she may be right. So I am starting to enjoy flying again! I like to look out the window and see the world below. I thrill to see Temples dot the land and love to see a new perspective. I prefer to fly during the day I think on clear days but the

clouds are so beautiful in the sunlight. I like to have several things to occupy my time with. 1. a current Ensign 2. My Book of Mormon 3. My I-Pod shuffle 4. A sudoku game 5. A pencil and paper to write my feelings down and keep track of how I am doing. 6. my blankie 7. my neck pillow 8. Scott 9. a window seat I am really proud of my overcoming this fear. It was changing my life and I was so unhappy and felt so sad. It is empowering and builds my faith in God that I have somewhat worked through this. I am starting to love to travel again:)

Risk?

I am just starting to think that maybe it is not really a risk to fly. I just flew 4 flights over 3000 miles and I am still alive. I think the sleeping grass helped me on the short 22 minute inter island flight thanks to Miranda who believes that you can't have a bad day if you touch sleeping grass. I did not even take a xanax. To clarify sleeping grass is a grass in Hawaii that when you touch it it goes to sleep and then in 20 minutes re opens up. I just enjoyed the view and we only went 13,000 feet high. It was the 33,000 foot height that took me across the ocean that bothered me. But how do I explain that I am alive? I think maybe it is just as safe to fly as it is to drive. The whole 7 nights on Kauai I thought I was cured but when it came to heading back across the ocean- I panicked. Our flight home was full of football players that were huge! It was very crowded. They had lost the game so they were sort of subdued which was a nice thing since it was so jam packed. Some of them sang song which were very enjoyable with harmony. I did not sleep and watch a little image of the plane as it slowly made it way across the ocean. I monitored the altitude. There were some bumps but I did just fine.

Fear and Faith

Scott says I am offically grounded from the computer for a few weeks. As I have been spending time researching plane crashes. The last 2 flights I did totally fine on. I had an 8 year old with me, it was short, I coudl see this little visual of the plane in flight on its course and had to be the adult- becasue we do not scare little children on purpose. I have spent way to much time in fear instead of faith. I loved the days when I had no fear of flying. For years I would jet set all over the place and not give it a second thought- ah the good old days. My favorite is when people laugh out loud at my fear. It is irrational and the laughter makes me feel better becasue it reminds me it is crazy. Laurie thinks I should try out EEG. Here are some of the researches I've done. It has been a very humbling fear and boy are my prayer intense and sincere. So since I am grounded for a while from the computer (or rather my obsessing about crashes) I will have to take up some new hobbies... any suggestions? See ya again next month sometime. Lovies, Missy

PTA lunch

Mom's are amazing. Last year when I said yes to PTA I had a far different life than I do now. I had a hubby with me 24/7. I had a car and phone all the time. Then life happened and it made PTA take a back burner as I could not get up to the school as easy. I started to feel like I was not much of a help. I sure did love getting to know more of the awesome people who make our little school tick. I just think the world of the board and especially the ones willing to stand up and do the hard things. We had a lunch and they gave us nice gifts I got to sit by cute Sue who also does hard things as a church leader. I also talked with Kari and got to know her better. Next year's President is darling and she will do awesome. Her little boy finally after a year will smile at me. I have one newsletter left and a day of making cotton candy for the carnival. I had a few people tell me it was weird to be a part of PTA with no kids there but I think it was neat:) I got to really see all the time my own mom put into serving me as a child. I loved having her at the school, I loved how everyone knew her. I love that my dad made it possible for her to be home with us. I guess some lesson are understood best with adult eyes- just think if I ever grow up all I can learn:)

Lots to Learn

Over the last year or so a good number of the teenage girls I work with at church have grown out their tresses and then lopped them off for Locks of Love. Locks of Love is a company that makes hair for children who due to medical conditions can no longer grow hair on their own. From this company they are able to make real hair wigs for them. My friend Mindie was recently telling me a little more about it. They like to have 10 inch section of hair, clean and dry, braided or in a pony tail. You can not send it is if it has been bleached but it can have been colored. I have been growing mine out to donate. It has been a challenge because I have not had long long hair for a long time and it was driving Scott and I crazy. Mindie measured me on Wed. and I was a 7 inches if I had a little length in my front and chopped the back short. Mindie explained that they also accept smaller lengths which they use to make hair pieces and wigs to sell to raise money to off set the cost of the charity. I sat and weighed the options. I could go crazy for another 3 to 6 months headed toward Lady Godiva land or I could be brave and chop chop right then and there.
While Scott had his cut I sat and vacillated. The last time I had short hair was in 1997. I was thin then and everyone loved the cut. People would say "OH- that is your cut- super cute. After the hysterectomy and thyroid burn out the weight piled on and I think I grew my hair out kind of hiding, which did not work as when you gain around 30+ pounds per month people notice. People were in shock and would say really rude remarks unintentionally. "Missy, you are HUGE, what happened?" Often I would allow it to hurt my feelings and just cry. I was already heart broken at not having a child, and with immediate menopause it was an explosive emotional roller coaster. I finally would reply back with things like "Oh wow- you are right- I am really fat! I was thinking the dryer had shrunk everything but instead it is because I am a fatty, thanks for letting me know." The people would get uncomfortable and leave me alone with my "new" revelation. The weight finally stopped after almost 100 pounds. The weird thing is I would not trade it for anything. First- it was the heartbreak of the total hysterectomy that humbled me to allow God in my life. After that I was able to believe in Jesus as the Christ. Then my whole life changed forever and since I have been a happy person. Second- I have learned that appearances can be deceiving and are not the most important thing in the world. I used to be very self conscious and worried about how I looked. It would stop me from trying new things and generally take up lots of precious time as I fretted about before mirrors. Third- I didn't look at people from the outside as much. I started to listen to who they really were. I realized that we are all children of God with spirits and we each have a different vehicle to drive while here. Some are dump trucks, some are buses, and some are cooper minis, and that is OK. The world can be a hard place where judgments are harsh, nut I learned that it is a good ideas to cut some slack to people because you really never know what is in their hearts or the whys that propel them to make the choices they do. I'm glad Someone Else is the judge not me. Forth- I learned to not be tied to outward praises or other people opinions. I would place way to much emphasis on others comments and complements. Why not listen to the only one that matters God who loves each and everyone of us. We all have enormous worth in the eyes of God, and it can't be taken from us like sagging boobs and wrinkled faces can. Fifth- That the Star Belly Sneetches story is genius and why would we all want to look alike? Variety is the spice of life and if you quit trying to be someone else you can really shine as you. Sixth- To not flatter myself in to thinking the world revolved around me or that people were thinking constantly about me. As I listen to the teenagers in my life, I hear them worry about what so and so is thinking. However I have learned that so and so is caught up in worrying about themselves and not spending anytime thinking about little old me. Here is a test to prove my theory on this one. What was your neighbor wearing last Monday? What were you wearing? 9 times out of 10 no one can answer the first ? and less than 30 % can answer the second ?.
As I waited for my turn in the salon seat I decided to take the plunge now and chop it off. Many of the cute ladies at the salon encouraged me and Scott thinks it is adorable but most important I love it. I'm so glad I did it. It felt great to fill out the paper work for Locks of Love and think that some little person out there will benefit from the sale of my locks so they can have a little ground cover. If you have ever thought of donating hair I highly recommend it. The only advice I have is bring a camera. Scott only had his camera phone so the photos of that day are not the best but it was a spur of the moment cut. It is very short and stacked in theback which takes getting used to but it sure is a fun cut. Here to lots more love.

A place for everything and everything in its place

How do these photos make you feel? Giddy with the simple delight of order? Gods house is a house of order. I want a house of order. Do you feel like organization is some mystery talent you are born with? I used to but I can promise that it is a skill anyone can learn. I learned this from Julie. Have you heard of Julie Morgenstern? She is an organizing guru. She is really the first one I have ever heard or read or watched that helps real people. It has made a difference in our house. She is the queen of a place for everything and everything in its place. I have enjoyed it because it is tailored to me. I have read many books over the years and they have not helped at all. I have even hired people in the past to come and fix my house or office. It never lasts because it wasn't the right fit. This one has worked, and it has lasted. Her belief is "Organized means you live how you want- and can access all you need". Analyze, strategize, attack. I used to just start throwing away everything and then run to buy containers. Not anymore more, thanks to Julie. You plan first. Julie is a genius. She uses zones, like kindergarten. She has a DVD, book or book on CD, on many organizing subjects including teens. Run to your local library and give her a try. Here are a few of her "rules".
Julie's Rules of Order
1. Start in the room you spend the most time in.
2. Avoid zigzag organizing. Begin in one corner of the room and complete each section before moving on to the next.
3. Attack the visible clutter first—these items are more current and will give you instant change.
4. Don't get distracted sorting things that belong in another room, just move them to that location.
5. Search for the treasures instead of the trash—organizing should be a positive experience, not a negative one.
6. Keep only what you use and love. The rest can go to off site storage or a favorite charity.
Here are some questions to get you started from her book-
I can never find my ______ There's no room for_______ I am tired of _____
I have no place to put ______ I can't______ I'm losing a lot of money on ___
The disorganization makes me feel_____ When people visit, I _______
What is working?

What’s not working?

What items are most essential?

Why do you want to get organized?

What’s causing the problem?

Plan your zones. Sort. Purge. Assign a home. Containerize. Equalize.

Stretched

What do you do when you are being pulled in all directions? When Gods plan for you is painful because it requires stretching and your faith feels weak? Not because you don't trust God but you doubt yourself? How about when you disappoint yourself under the pressure or be unkind to innocent bystanders? I think prayer is foremost for peace. I think Jim Hensen is foremost for humor. Bert and Ernie are very different. Bert likes paper clips, pigeons, bottle caps and lentil soup. Ernie likes rubber duckie, bubble gum, playing jokes and jelly beans. But though they don't always like the same things... they still like each other.
Ernie: You know, Bert, you're a real friend. I'm messy and you don't like messy, but because I'm your friend, you don't mind too much if I'm messy.
Bert: Well not too much.
Erine: But that is what a friend is, Bert. I mean not minding too much because you like someone. That's a friend Bert. A pal. Not minding, that's what friends are for!
We have never been so busy and under so much pressure. Yet I can feel Gods love and the blessing are all around. I know that I am not alone. I love seeing Scott serve and it is amazing seeing him in action. He has always been an incredible man but now he is him. Like he has completely stepped up to all God had in store for him. His compassion and love, his hard work and loyalty, his humor and cuteness-- all intensified. He is a humble man who I adore. He is a leader I love to follow. He is a hunter and a little obsessive but I love that too. He is getting attacked and he forgives, he really loves these people.
If just one person believes in you, deep enough and strong enough, Believes in you hard enough and long enough Before you know it, someone else would think "If he can do it, I can do it" Making it two. Two whole people who believe in you. And maybe even you can believe in you too. Robin and the Muppets
So when I am ready to quit life keeps on going. But I'm not alone and I can get better and somehow I will find out who I am and be the me I'm meant to be.

Tulips and turning points

I love to learn from stories, that is how the Savior taught. A big turning point in my life was a story told by a mother who had handicap children. Explaining what it’s like to have them after dreaming of being a mother of healthy children all your life. Well my hearts desire was to be a mom. That was all I wanted- it was my Italy. We can all relate because we all have our "Italy's"... Here is how the story goes.

Imagine your whole life you have dreamt of going to Italy. You plan on this, you study Italian, everyone knows you are going to one day go. You read guide books, take classes, collect items, and talk with others who have gone- looking at photos. You dream and anticipate, even learning a little Italian. Then after all the long years of waiting the big day comes, everyone throws you a huge going away party. You board the plane and practice Italian on the way there even eating pasta. The plane lands and the attendant says “Welcome to Holland”, you are shocked you race up there and explain how you are supposed to be in Italy. You show your ticket it is punched Italy. They are very sorry for you but there are no more flights, so Holland is where you must stay. The pain of not going to Italy is very real, you still meet people who love Italy and tell you all about, and sometimes you wonder what it would have been like to go. But you know what? If you waste your time feeling sorry for yourself about Italy… you will walk right past the Rembrandt's, Windmills and tulips in Holland.

We all have Holland’s; mine is not having children of my own (yet- I still have the next life) and trusting Gods plan for me. The story has been a huge comfort. When I first read it I cried for days and then felt stronger and not so alone. Some days are better than others and I just fall in love with the windmills. But the craving for Italian never really goes away. Jesus Christ has comforted my heart and eased my cravings and you know what? One day I trust that my plane will land in Italy. I will be the mother of choice spirits and I will enjoy it ever so much more, because I will have the memories of the Tulips.

Loves of my life... new easy helps

I love finding things that make life simple and easy. I also like to find things that make life fun. So imagine how happy I was to learn about these...

Mary gave them to me to use in WI. You put it in the wash with mixed loads and it is magic and traps the colors floating in the water so they don't stain the opposite color. I hope my mom does not read this because she is the queen of laundry big time and she would surely die if she knew I did a load at Mary's of white and red. Guess what it really works the colors seem more vibrant and the whites were still white. I want to get some of the on the go wipes. I like to use baby wipes and they do work well om the go but I'll bet the shout ones are awesome. I also want to try one of the little pens that makes stains disappear. And how about some applause for the magic erasers?? Several brands on the market and they are magic too. I love making life easier. I want to use them with the dishes because the sponge we use now makes me grossed out it is yuck. Scott seems to think it will ruin our dishes. There were the dumb email hoax's going around about these being toxic, not true. I really think they make cleaning fun.

Break In... and my heart

Today when I went downstairs to the garage my passenger window was broken. "THEY" had tried to break out the glass, then slide their hand through the glass to open the door. The glass was still intact but completely shattered. I guess the thick glass is held together with a thick laminate. At first I thought it was frost. It looked beautiful. Then I had the yucky pit of your stomach dread. It feels yucky. I feel unsafe. I wish I had a house with full time security. I wish I lived in a world where "THEY" had enough love in their lives and knew God enough to not break into others cars. The police woman who came was very nice. She had a sense of humor. I wanted to get pictures of the car window. I wanted to check inside the car and see if anything was missing. I opened the back door and everything looked like it was in place. Then I made the mistake of shutting the back door. Gravity had been taking its effect and the glass started to make these noises. It was eerie. The officer said "THEY" are usually going for one of two items... stereo or personal info like insurance and registration. She recommended I start up a neighborhood watch program. I think I will. I think it is time to take a stand and take back our community. We have 4 or 5 break in every month in my neighborhood. We were not the only ones today to wake up to "THEY" being awful. We were just one of the misfortunate. I had really let my guard down. Every other car in my building has been broken into over the last 6 months. I guess I thought with Mercedes AWESOME security system no one would be stupid enough to try. Had they moved their hand into my car the alarm would have sounded and it calls me upstairs and then the police. Scott thinks they noticed the security system after they attempted to break the glass out. Our insurance will pay for a new window but it foils my day. I had business appointments I was headed to. "THEY" are sleeping in this morning after a busy night of intruding. I have been praying for "THEY". I have been praying to be more open to the guidance of the spirit when I may be acting like "THEY". There are times am sure when I could be a better person. My car was a gift from Arbonne when I became a VP. It makes me even more sad that it was a hard earned gift that someone hurt.

I want to be more aware of how I am listening. Am I using my heart or my ego. Am I placing myself in others shoes so to speak or am I just thinking of myself. We could all be a little kinder, where have I heard that before...? (Pres. Hinckley, Jesus, my mom, Scott, the New Testament, Book of Mormon, Sheri Dew... you get the picture.) Just think had someone really listened to "THEY" they would have felt heard and had their needs addressed. Everyone has needs in this life. Then perhaps "THEY" would become someone who also cares. What if we each tried to be the shelter for just one person. You know the safe place where you want to run to and hear that everything will be alright. Imagine if we could be nice to someone so they don't grow up and break our windows...