I got my very first cell phone in 2009. Okay Scott had bought me several others which I never used. But in 2009 our lives changed completely. We went form 10 plus years of working and living together 24/7 to Scott having a traditional 9 to 5 job away from home. We also we in transition and building our home and renting and moving and selling our old home so I needed to port our home phone to a cell so Arbonne clients would still be able to find me during the moves. I love any photos of Scott.
When I was a little girl one of my passions was reading. I always had a book in hand. I would find little nooks to curl up in with a book. We had these beautiful picture windows in the formal living room that had benches and long Gothic drapes. I would let lose the fancy drapery pulls and the long 24 foot drapes would create a perfect retreat to escape with my books. Aunt Sue was always reading to Anthony and I or making up stories complete with voices. Sometimes I would drape sheets over my canopy bed and read by a string of Christmas lights pirated from my parents Christmas supplies. A favorite day at school was read-a-thon days. I would drag my blue bean bag into the station wagon along with a bag of snacks from mom with little love notes hidden inside from her and run into school ready to attack my leaning tower of books. Of all the childhood books I read the ones that is standing out to me right now are the choose your own adventure variety. You would begin on this magnificent journey and hit a fork in the story where you would take the reigns and turn to page 34 to see your fate. Of course I would go back and explore every possible option. With a well written story this would provide countless paths to experience and learn cause and effect. What a clever method of teaching. 20 years later I am living a choose your own adventure. The last months have been full of almosts and would have beens. Scott and I felt we only had options listed in our book. We would turn to page 34 but it is blank. We trace our steps back to page 12 and try the next option which leads us on to page 61 yet there we are again at a blank page. From family prayer we decided that we do not like someone else deciding for us and that we will just have to choose for ourselves and have faith that God will circumvent any eternal disasters. Really the only problems that would be devastating are to lose faith in God, to give away our eternal relationships. There is a fine line for me of Gods directing our path yet allowing us to grow and utilize our agency. I am working hard at letting go of control and trusting my husband as he follows God. Scott has always had my best interests at heart- well maybe not in Oct as 
Hunting season outweighs all else. But I know God and Scott want only what is best for me- for me to fill the measure of my creation. Scott and Missy have arrived at a clean blank page but the difference this time they brought their own pen. They won't let doctors, real estate agents, bosses, job postings turn pages for them. Taking a step back and zeroing in our our ultimate goals gave us a clarity. Scott stays close to God and can hear his voice. I sometimes get so busy and noisy that it is hard to hear the still small voice. With numerous priesthood blessings and many prayers we are very happy to head to St George. My mom is gracious to let all 4 of us descend upon her home. Scott will focus on IT certification and school, I will paint my moms walls. We will keep applying for work in the Salt Lake area. All our earthly treasures will remain in a climate controlled warehouse until we obtain gainful employment, build our next and hopeful last home and have the pods delivered to our new address. We hope it will be in the valley we love but Washington, Colorado, Arizona, Nevada, California, and Texas have options, pages we can turn to. The nice part was how many loved ones were willing to help us preserve capitol. We feel beyond fortunate to have no debts not even a car payment and money and food laid up for a rainy day. We would prefer to keep them safe so we can use them in the future for down payments and if things got really bad. So the offers came pouring in. Loved ones willing to take us in under their roofs. Some of the offers were most tempting but we feel like the chance to help out my flirty widowed and needy mom outweighed the easy or fun paths. My mom is insisting she does not want anything in return for our lodging but we have other plans. As for packing... I am finally out of bed once again. After a long hard month we have decided to take me off of all the medications. Yes it is risky and yes the doctors freaked out- I had to sign a living will advance directive. But I would rather live my days until I am dead than lie in bed in pain until I die. Scott agreed quality out weighs quantity. Not that I have a dated death sentence. Who can really give one anyways unless perhaps a death row date looms in your future. After all doctors told me dad he had months and lived years. Depending on the treatment options we will take the least life altering and rely on a more natural approach. I have to be able to get out of bed and help pack and feed Aunt Sue and I just don't want to be sick in bed anymore. As the drugs clear out of my body I am feeling more and more like the old me and that is a happy day. So the status update of the week is... 1. we are moving to St. George temporarily. 2. Scott and I do not have jobs, yet. 3. the doctors are stumped with my health so we are taking a natural approach while they argue it out. 4. We are packing fools dividing up what to keep for 6 months and what to store up here. 5. We are speaking in sacrament as a our welcome to the new ward as a couple only to surprise them at the end with a fond farewell speech. Stay tuned as you are choosing your own adventures to see where page turning take us next.
Usually we put up Christmas in September. We travel often in the fall and so we can enjoy Christmas we put it up early. This year went so fast here it is almost Christmas and finally up goes the tree. The sad part is when it will have to come down. I don't want it up all year but it is very sad to take it down. Imagine how dusty it would be all year. My darling mother came up for a visit and to see my current show. It was wonderful to have her here and she got to meet Bella. Mom is beautiful and it was fun to watch holiday shows with her. I felt bad to leave her alone as I live at the theater right now but cute Marj saved the days and nights and came to play with mom. What a lucky girl I am to have 2 moms for the week! One of the things I love about our current home is the tall ceilings:) This makes our huge tall tree seem the perfect size. 
We have tons of ornaments and even with the big tree it kind of looks full. I also put up many of our other decorations this year. I just adore tripping down memory lane as I open each box and place the item around the house. My mom in law has given me some beautiful things over the last years and I sure do love enjoy them each December. Mom and Marj were a big hit with the rest of the cast and came to all the parties with us. They are the LIFE of the party. Scott and Matt have been super cute to come and support Hilary and me. How long can I leave up the tree???
Thanks so much everyone for all the love and prayers. I was very upset to be out of town for the Thanksgiving holiday with Scott's family because I missed the funeral. But I was also very proud of Deb's children, who all spoke- as I learned from the 'play by play' from my friends back home. I miss Deb already. I will never forget the first hug we had when she walked into the room with a Mitford bag and I tried to steal it:) It is lucky in life to find friends who you can let your hair down with. Deb was very supportive to me during a big trial in my life. I was scared and did not know the right course of action to take. I was fearful for some children's safety in my life and worried about what to do. Deb helped to to sort it all out and stood by me. She also was great at teasing me into 
trying something new and not taking myself so seriously. I was very sad to miss being here for the funeral but I have an awesome mom-in-law, sister-in-law and niece who did their best to distract my grief. I celebrated my birthday while away, had a nice break from the play and enjoyed time with Scott and family. I am grateful for friends like Deb and my family.
Bella brings lots of adventure to our everyday lives. She is naughty but soft and gets more loving each day as she feels secure in her new home. She keeps me company and if I give her 24/7 attention she is great. She has lots of energy and the most beautiful face. Bella is not excited about sining puppies. She has won over our hearts. Even Aunt Sue adores her. I'm grateful for my furry friends.
I LOVE my cousins! I am so very grateful that Kelly and Sean would be willing to drive me all the way to and from St. George so I could see my cute mom. She is one funny lady. We had the best time looking at old photos and listening to conference. We stayed int he house all most the whole time either playing cards or organizing, but we had fun together. I think we do best on a one on one basis. She seems to focus the best this way is does not get overwhelmed. Plus it is always nice to be with one person at a time. I could not get over how much little Sarah just adores her. She is not the best with young children- she is awesome with teens but little 3 year old Sarah thinks Aunt Mary is the bomb. She kept running to her lap and wanting kisses. It made me feel sad for my mom with now of her own grand kids since Anth and I are sort of childless. She totally loves my older siblings kids but I think it is different to have your very own and I felt sad for her. I have not been feeling sad for the last few weeks about not having a child. I think I may not be ready in this life for the adventure. That is really a blessing because it gets old to have a broken heart with children all around. For some reason I just not as into kids as I used to be. This alarms Marlene but I assure her I still love kids I just don't want any of my own anymore-- at least not in this life-- for now. Scott teased me and said "Really? because now I want to adopt"- he is a tease. Aunt Susan is looking great and it was fun to have her back to normal. Sean and I sang John Denver songs all the way home. Kelly and Teri and I had great gospel talks on the way down. Mom and I laughed and really enjoyed each other. I feel like I didn't get to really hear conference but I will just study the talks and re listen like always and I am sure it was awesome. I think for me it is best to be at home for conference with no distractions. The stand outs were the angel talk and being good in sacrament. I liked them all but they did not sin k in yet. I missed my cute honey who was keeping the home fires burning in my absence. He is in full hunting swing. He is my good buddy and I miss him in the fall:( I cried as I left St. George. I do not like going there because I think of my dad to much. His dream was to live there since he was a teenager. He came on a trip from New York as a teen to the area and decided he would one day live there. He spent his last years there and it just makes me think of him. Once my mom is gone I'm not sure I will be able to go anymore- it really hurts inside and makes me sad. I worry about my mom who has very poor health but I' not sure how to help. I pray but not sure what else to do, excpet try and bum rides to see her.
As a day or two has passed I am becoming scared at the thought I was so excited to be outside. I did really love it but now that I am back in the comfort of home once again I think-- was I nuts? The dirt, spiders, bugs, extreme temp, lack of shelter, scary toilet hole, no sink, no flush toilet, no shower, I think I must have been crazy to think I was so happy there. Or maybe I am losing my mind. Because I did love to make smores with Maddy who got them just right as they were extremely messy. I loved how she and Taylor waited for turns on my lap. How it was so quite before everyone else arrived and Scott and I just reveled in our alone quite time. Mason jumped in to the fire pit before the fire was roaring and got filthy and Sarah jumped into save him and then sat in the dirt and seemed just happy being totally dirty. Part of me thought good for her- dirt it up and the other part was thinking get this girl a hose and some soap. My parents forbid me to get dirty or even sweat as a child. Really it was more my mom who had the hang up about sweat and dirty. My dad just liked things clean and perfect. Our neighbors use to tease my mom incessantly about us sweating or getting dirty. I am not saying I had a bad childhood and that it ruined my love for dirt. I embarrassed my parents love for clean. One of the main reason I do not like to camp is hygiene or lack there of because usually it leads to illness and a trip to the hospital which I really do not like. OK why am I back pedaling? It could be that from Sat. morning I have been running a high fever with no reason to have a high fever. My best guess is maybe it is from the pesticides I lathered on or the heat from the fire or the freezing cold. I did not get bitten by anything. Maybe it is like I believed when I was young and I am allergic to the outside?? NO I think I had a good time. OH- at least I have some cute photos. You the weird part about my mom is that she grew up at a cabin every summer in Island Park. They must have had dirt and bugs up there back then right? Maybe she was just nervous because of my JRA and other health issues and the doctors scaring her? I need to ask her about all this. The kids all loved it. Backy had all these fun things to do like make bird feeders and giant bubbles. I think I really liked it. No I am sure I did I am just a littel freaked out by the fever.
Mom's are amazing. Last year when I said yes to PTA I had a far different life than I do now. I had a hubby with me 24/7. I had a car and phone all the time. Then life happened and it made PTA take a back burner as I could not get up to the school as easy. I started to feel like I was not much of a help. I sure did love getting to know more of the awesome people who make our little school tick. I just think the world of the board and especially the ones willing to stand up and do the hard things. We had a lunch and they gave us nice gifts I got to sit by cute Sue who also does hard things as a church leader. I also talked with Kari and got to know her better. Next year's President is darling and she will do awesome. Her little boy finally after a year will smile at me. I have one newsletter left and a day of making cotton candy for the carnival. I had a few people tell me it was weird to be a part of PTA with no kids there but I think it was neat:) I got to really see all the time my own mom put into serving me as a child. I loved having her at the school, I loved how everyone knew her. I love that my dad made it possible for her to be home with us. I guess some lesson are understood best with adult eyes- just think if I ever grow up all I can learn:)
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Here are a few other memories from our trip. 
moose. 8. Going to Grandma's grave at Zion and how Carli laid on the headstone. 9. Seeing how compassionate and calm and cool Michele was under the pressure of ICU. 10. being able to sign Cheree's heart pillow. 11. Ate at the new Pizza Factory with all the gang. 12. It snowed on our way home- in May snow... what happened to the global warming? 13. Listened to Phantom on the way home with Scott. 14. Celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary amid the chaos. 15. Glad that Mason and Scott could give Priesthood blessings. 16. Marianne in the ICU- she is an original- good luck with you eye operation n Wed. mom:) 17. the family that ate all the food in ICU and never washed their hands and how Missy started to tell them off and I don't think they spoke English or pretended they did not understand. So I may not be the best person in the family under pressure:) 18. Lynda reminding me that we each have a purpose on earth and God decides when it starts and ends-- that we must endure. 19. Neal gave us awesome produce:) 20. Ellen gives great hugs:) 21. Boyd got a huge deer I'm not excited about it but everyone else was. 22. Everyone telling Ted stories until we cried form laughing so hard-- I miss you dad:)
I will start with saying if you are offended easily do not read this. My mom has a heart of gold but sometimes mixes up her words. My mom is one of the funniest people on the earth. She is funny because she is not trying to be funny.. Also if you don't laugh you cry so here are a few of her more recent more embarrassing comments. By the way I got her permission to post these...
I don't get to see my mom very often so it was neat to have her here for the death of my uncle. She is very funny and keeps us on our toes, Mungo loved to see his grandma who feeds him yogurt. I was thinking it is sad that we don't have any grand kids for her. All her friends and family have all these little cute grand kids and Anth and I have let her down. I hear that most people would skip the kid part and go straight to the grandkid fun if they could. She works at an Elementary school and the kids think she is the bomb. She is. There is always something to laugh about and a new adventure to being with my darling mom. I miss her soooo much. This is us at the funeral parlor. We did a scare this trip. My Uncle drove her up here and they were trapped in a blizzard, what would have taken 4 hours took 11 and 1/2. Poor Aunt Susan about friend her nerves. Uncle Denny did swell driving under awful conditions and we all prayed like mad to not have 3 more deaths in the family My cousin Sean had us in stitches. It is great to laugh- it really is the best medicine. Mom- you are the BEST:) You are always kind and positive. You always make everyone feel special and you never judge, never.
4th time in a few months. This time was really scary. She almost died. Her blood pressure was 70 over 30. The hardest part is the distance. What can you do but pray from 5 hours away? She has had a very rough year. Her health has taken a nose dive and it never was all that great. Just in the last year she has been diagnosed with congestive heart failure (which is what my dad had) and MS. I 
really miss the times when she could travel with us and when she didn't have so many burdens. We argue because I wish she would come and live with us-- to her a fate worse than death. She wants us to come move back to St. George. We are at a stand still. Maybe one day I will get some totally awesome idea on how to fix all this in the mean time I hope she gets well soon. The hardest thing is she is sooooo young. We just had her 60th surprise party last year:( I am loving hearing how much people adore her. She volunteers at the elementary school and the hospital. She is very fun. MOM- take it easy and get better:) Don't you want to see Mungo grow up? Maybe if Anth or I had children you would have more incentive... hum. Thanks to Marlene and Karson who in the middle of the remodel on the house stopped by to see mom and take her an early Christmas gift I had made her:)
After a few days in bed I go a little nuts. Scott got me something to watch from the library I have been really wanting to see for years. Hart to Hart. Not to be confused with the remake from the 90's. This is the good old 1979- 1983 run. I LOVE IT!!! Remember-- I was a TV junkie growing up. Our TV was on 24/7. I can sing the beginning credits to most 80's TV shows. This drives my husband a little bonkers. He was outside working with his dad chopping wood up hill both ways in a storm his whole childhood; while I sat with my dad and brother in front of a TV. My mom thought TV was a waste and only watched Hill Street Blues, MASH and LA Law. The rest of us loved these great old shows. Jonathon Hart reminds me of Scott. You will have to watch an episode and tell me if you can see it too. They don't look alike but their manners are similar. How can you not 
adore Max and Freeway? Plus the billionaire lifestyle is great with the cars and trips. I think it is fantastic how in love these two are on the show and they are happily married. It is still romance and fun yet married. What a great concept for TV and real life:) It reminds me of some of my other favorites like Remington Steele, Scarecrow and Mrs. King, and Murder She Wrote. Scott and I also watched this old episode of the Beverly Hillbillies at Christmas- we were rolling on the bed laughing so hard. It reminds us of Scott's dads long lost family in the hills of West Virginia. We have never meet some of his relations and so we imagine that they live in the hills frozen in time when in truth they probably all are smart and have degrees from Harvard or they invented the Internet or something. I just wish I could hug and kiss Scott- I don't want to get him sick but I love him so much and watching these old episodes makes me think he is my Jonathon. My mom in law broke my heart by pointing out that Robert Wagner is 78! I saw a photo and he is old. Guess what that means I am older and will be older still. But I am still darling and will just get darlinger-- hee hee.
I spent the morning at St. Marks Hospital. I am still sick. Today was the 10th day. They did a bunch of tests. The worst part is Aunt Sue. Aunt Sue was sitting at home crying. She had written me off:( She was wringing her hands when I got home. Poor thing. I guess she has thought I look so ill that I was surly dying. I wish she would have come and talked to me about her fears. I guess I am like her mom and so of course she felt unsettled. What made her smile again was that I had flesh colored band aids. When I take her in the always give her bright colors and she dislikes them very much. The funny thing is I would have loved the COLOR. I rather enjoyed the techs that let me look inside myself. With Halloween coming up it is especially nice to see my old bones in there. I have an arsenal of drugs and inhalers-- I am thrilled I did not have to stay in the hospital-- as I would pick up who knows what else:( The Dr. said my days volunteering at the elementary school or around anyone sick are over for now. I can still do my PTA stuff but I will miss the interaction with the kids. The Lupus is a strange thing. I like to say the instead of my because there are people who have had it go into remission and never come back out. With my healthy eating who knows:) The diagnosis today is Sinusitis and some from of pneumonia. I will know later today the rest of the results. The last test I do tomorrow where I (this is gross-- ) hack into a jar. This test I guess helps them know if it is bacterial, viral or fungal and who knows what else. I am most grateful to Marlene who keeps giving me pep talks, to my mom who yelled at me to go in and see someone already, to Marj that really kept it from getting much worse, for hot baths with Arbonnes great herbs that soothe and open up the air passages, Megan who remember that I was going to give it until Friday, Candice who doesn't make fun of my healthy eating, to Scott (he is a hunk) plus he is sweet and helpful and to Aunt Sue for loving me enough to create drama in her head. OH- and the mountain today were wonderful. Fall has come and started to paint all kids of fabulous colors on our big huge beauties. So many things to be grateful for.
I can't relax. I don't usually watch much T.V. but while at the hospital more than not in the last month I have seen enough to last a lifetime. I think that is because they really don't have many channels and the ones Aunt Sue choose were very violent or sad. I cried a few times and went for walks in the hospital. She is into the Animal Planet and the abuse is just horrid. My question is "what kind of fruit is that green fruit of the loom guy?" There is the apple and the 2 colors of grapes but what is he? Is he really a fruit? He looks like spinach- which is a veggie-- right? Aunt Sue is finally feeling better after a blood clot scare. Now my mom is on her 3 day in the hospital but to far away for me to sit with her there. That is because she is stubborn and will not move closer to us-- we offer all the time. That has not stopped her from having her friends call and guilt me. They all say including her "get rid of Aunt Sue and take care of your mom". The real sad part is how much Aunt Sue loves my mom. She prays for her and her cousin Al every night. She just adores them. When people say get rid of her-- it is very offensive to me. We adopted Aunt Sue, I happen to love her and we really treasure her in our lives. I am more than happy to take care of both my mom and Aunt Sue but not at a 5 hour distance. We tried living where she lives and we didn't make enough money. My brother doesn't get guilt calls and he moved to corn land. I'm sure they mean well but I wish I could disappear with Aunt Sue and Scott for a few years and live on a tropical island or in the mountains with no contact from well wishers. I love my mom but I think she needs to move closer so we can help take care of her. So if I could just know if that green thingy is really a fruit I just know I would sleep well tonight:)
I feel a little like I have spent the summer in the oven. I could not have picked hotter places to visit. I laughed as I thought of the places we have been this summer with the scorching heat and then asking myself "Why am I not feeling great?" DUH heat and Missy do not mix. I did not choose any of the hot spots but I did still choose to go and I'm glad I did because the memories are great. One I have not mentioned yet was our local church youth group conference. It was held in St. George Utah where we did as much as you can in 3 days, which meant xing out sleep. First we left early to spend time with 
my mom who has had her own set of health challenges. It was a nice visit. Then the kids arrived and we got the party started. My mom came with us one of the nights to see My Fair Lady in the desert at Tuacahn. I had to really focus on not singing out loud. It was Scott's first time seeing the show and he loves Doolittle and a little bit o luck. I did the show my senior year of High School and have always loved it. The set and costumes were perfect and I loved almost all the actors. It reminded me I need to get going on a readers theater group for my friends who's spouses don't like us acting anymore. One night we went on a night hike in the canyon for star gazing, did service projects, site seeing, a Temple visit and many more funny events to follow. The teens we were with are truly amazing they have overcome things out of nightmares and still have this amazing glow of hope. I loved being with Scott away from phones and emails and computers. Really enjoyed the adult interaction-- fun and interesting conversations. I'm looking forward to cool fall air-- and Alaska sounds like the perfect spot to spend all of next summer:)
My mom has never been what I thought of as a "mom". She was and is a really fun friend/mom. I always thought of moms as being serious, scheduled, organized, curfew, concerned, and not very approachable. My mom was more like a wonderful friend. She was amazing at taking care of us and made many sacrifices. She never missed any event, and cared for us to the extreme. At times it seemed like she was a single mother. My dad was always working or watching T.V. so she had to do most of the parenting. She would try to guilt him in to coming to see us perform but it didn't always work. I remember her 
trying to do things like family home evenings-- dad didn't support those much. (He got better with age.) My mom made things fun. Our house was always very clean and she made yummy meals. She really loved to be a mom. I remember thinking that she took being a mom serious but was not serious. We stayed up late laughing. You could talk to her about anything. She never judged anyone. She loved to help others and has many friends. No one can do laundry like my mom. She is great at expressing herself and making us feel guilty. All my friends loved to be around her and talk to her about anything. I loved how special she made all the holidays, her love of music and family. I hope if she were to read this she would not think I don't love her as a mom-- I do. I just think that there are many ways to be a mom and she took a different path. She is much like a teenager now. I feel like I am the mom. I hear this can happen as parents age. We start worrying about them. I think she wishes I would be a mom like her and be more relaxed. Aren't we supposed to end up like our parents? I look like my mom and sound like her but we are very different. I am more about the rules than my mom ever has been. I don't like to flirt like my mom does. I can't spell like she can. She has the best nose and I can't smell a thing. I'm really glad that she was able to be an at home mom and was always there for us. She loves life and loves to be her-- that we do have in common.
My mom inherited my grandparents piano. It is beautiful and holds beautiful memories. She gifted it to my brother last year. He plays beautifully. Salina hired a friend to come and tune the piano. Inside was a few pennies from long ago. We all thought it was neat to think about how they got in there. Did one of my uncles playing around stuff them inside? Did my grandpa come home from work and set his wallet down and it spilled pennies? We are hoping they are rare and can help my mom with money. I loved this piano. Each Christmas we would sing with all my cousins. It is the piano I learned to play on. it is now the piano I am trying to relearn to play on.
