When I was a little girl one of my passions was reading. I always had a book in hand. I would find little nooks to curl up in with a book. We had these beautiful picture windows in the formal living room that had benches and long Gothic drapes. I would let lose the fancy drapery pulls and the long 24 foot drapes would create a perfect retreat to escape with my books. Aunt Sue was always reading to Anthony and I or making up stories complete with voices. Sometimes I would drape sheets over my canopy bed and read by a string of Christmas lights pirated from my parents Christmas supplies. A favorite day at school was read-a-thon days. I would drag my blue bean bag into the station wagon along with a bag of snacks from mom with little love notes hidden inside from her and run into school ready to attack my leaning tower of books. Of all the childhood books I read the ones that is standing out to me right now are the choose your own adventure variety. You would begin on this magnificent journey and hit a fork in the story where you would take the reigns and turn to page 34 to see your fate. Of course I would go back and explore every possible option. With a well written story this would provide countless paths to experience and learn cause and effect. What a clever method of teaching. 20 years later I am living a choose your own adventure. The last months have been full of almosts and would have beens. Scott and I felt we only had options listed in our book. We would turn to page 34 but it is blank. We trace our steps back to page 12 and try the next option which leads us on to page 61 yet there we are again at a blank page. From family prayer we decided that we do not like someone else deciding for us and that we will just have to choose for ourselves and have faith that God will circumvent any eternal disasters. Really the only problems that would be devastating are to lose faith in God, to give away our eternal relationships. There is a fine line for me of Gods directing our path yet allowing us to grow and utilize our agency. I am working hard at letting go of control and trusting my husband as he follows God. Scott has always had my best interests at heart- well maybe not in Oct as 
Hunting season outweighs all else. But I know God and Scott want only what is best for me- for me to fill the measure of my creation. Scott and Missy have arrived at a clean blank page but the difference this time they brought their own pen. They won't let doctors, real estate agents, bosses, job postings turn pages for them. Taking a step back and zeroing in our our ultimate goals gave us a clarity. Scott stays close to God and can hear his voice. I sometimes get so busy and noisy that it is hard to hear the still small voice. With numerous priesthood blessings and many prayers we are very happy to head to St George. My mom is gracious to let all 4 of us descend upon her home. Scott will focus on IT certification and school, I will paint my moms walls. We will keep applying for work in the Salt Lake area. All our earthly treasures will remain in a climate controlled warehouse until we obtain gainful employment, build our next and hopeful last home and have the pods delivered to our new address. We hope it will be in the valley we love but Washington, Colorado, Arizona, Nevada, California, and Texas have options, pages we can turn to. The nice part was how many loved ones were willing to help us preserve capitol. We feel beyond fortunate to have no debts not even a car payment and money and food laid up for a rainy day. We would prefer to keep them safe so we can use them in the future for down payments and if things got really bad. So the offers came pouring in. Loved ones willing to take us in under their roofs. Some of the offers were most tempting but we feel like the chance to help out my flirty widowed and needy mom outweighed the easy or fun paths. My mom is insisting she does not want anything in return for our lodging but we have other plans. As for packing... I am finally out of bed once again. After a long hard month we have decided to take me off of all the medications. Yes it is risky and yes the doctors freaked out- I had to sign a living will advance directive. But I would rather live my days until I am dead than lie in bed in pain until I die. Scott agreed quality out weighs quantity. Not that I have a dated death sentence. Who can really give one anyways unless perhaps a death row date looms in your future. After all doctors told me dad he had months and lived years. Depending on the treatment options we will take the least life altering and rely on a more natural approach. I have to be able to get out of bed and help pack and feed Aunt Sue and I just don't want to be sick in bed anymore. As the drugs clear out of my body I am feeling more and more like the old me and that is a happy day. So the status update of the week is... 1. we are moving to St. George temporarily. 2. Scott and I do not have jobs, yet. 3. the doctors are stumped with my health so we are taking a natural approach while they argue it out. 4. We are packing fools dividing up what to keep for 6 months and what to store up here. 5. We are speaking in sacrament as a our welcome to the new ward as a couple only to surprise them at the end with a fond farewell speech. Stay tuned as you are choosing your own adventures to see where page turning take us next.
