Linus and the Kite eating tree.

If you are old enough and a fan of Charles Schultz, you will recall the delightful story of Linus and the Kite eating tree. I just think Peanuts are really fun. As I was walking past my window I saw "Linus" using his "blanket" to try and free his kite from an eater in my yard. This has been a wonderful season for flying a kite. There is a big hill out one of our windows and it is favorite for flying kites and sledding in the winter. Many a day I glance outside to see a bright kite reaching new heights. Well fancying myself to be a a mix between Sally and Lucy I headed outside to ask if "Charlie Brown" was around. Ben (our friend) was very focused on getting said kite back form the eater. I inquired the cost of the kite... 1.50. The tree was over 250.00 to plant and I contemplated this as it was whacked away at. Then I went and produced a rather large broom. Which Ben sailed right past the kite into another tree even higher up and more of a slant. SO now as I walk past my window the stars and stripes great me and a little to the left my very stuck broom. Ben replaced the broom but I forgot it at his house so he dropped it down to me over the balcony. I did not catch it and it broke. Ben did recover another kite that had sailed high over our 4 story home and crashed to the side. It has been fun remembering all my Peanut stories and having something to harass "Linus" about, although he never seems very bothered about any of our teasing.

Blue Moon and Aunt Sue's heart- both double meanings

Have you ever wondered where the saying "Once in a blue moon" originated from? Tonight I learned all about it. I went star or rather moon gazing at Snowbird. It was clear sky and a brilliant full moon. The second full moon in the month of May. This only happens once every 2 and 1/2 years. SO about 41 times every century. It is not that the moon is really blue. It has been blue before due to ice crystals or volcanic ash in the atmosphere. One of the professions that catches my interest every so often is astrology. It make me feel so tiny in the scheme of things. It demonstrates Gods power and the infinite possibilities. Imagine being John Glenn and getting the first view from a human of the earth while orbiting around it. Seeing day and night pass faster than time. I wonder about the amazing difference between the light of day and the light of night. It is awesome when I remember to wear my glasses and can see all the stars. I got to have a very long talk with Aunt Sue and we love to discuss all kinds of topics. One of which was outer space. She has been at the doctor every week as she is having some health issues. She is in arterial fibrillation and her diabetes seems to have reappeared. She does not like to leave the house, nor take more medications. The upside for me is long talks while she has tests and we wait at the doctors and hospitals. Often at home she is so engrossed in a book or soap opera she won't really have a long conversation. I love her laugh and how she explains things. She talked about my dad and her being so close while growing up. Her memories of vacations she took to up state New York as a child, how my dad was popular and outgoing, how my grandpa would not take my dad to the doctor when he got in a fight. He was angry his son would get in a fight. Aunt Sue walked him all the way to the hospital and waited with him while he was in shock. SHe had to fight the hospital to see him as they had no money or insurance. He fought with a boy who had a ring on and it cut his face very bad. I remember the scar he had from that fight. That was why he wore a mustache, to hide the scar. She talked about her first true love, and how she wonders what if... his name was Tom. He was Irish. Tom ended up marring a girl from Sweden when Aunt Sue broke his heart. He tried to change her mind and even continued to send Valentines cards to her. It was a long distance relationship as he still was in New York and she had come to "Zion" Utah. My grandparents looked him up one year on a visit to New York to see family. At the time he had 3 little boys. She thinks he was a drinker and is glad she choose Jay and his red hair so she could have Susan and her red hair and Jake and his. She doesn't seem sad to much anymore about Jay living with another woman, when I last saw him he said he felt guilt at not realizing Aunt Sue had mental issues and instead just thought she was mean. I think it would be better to be Aunt Sue and not have as many regrets. She wonders why she out lived her parents and my dad. Grandma and my dad both died so young. She talks about all the deaths and her best last memories with each of them. She tells me about my older sisters and brother when they were young and the fun times they used to have. We talk about God, love, family, politics, Scott, technology, the past and the future. I could not get her to come see the Blue Moon, but she will listen to me describe it in detail. I hope they get her heart figured out, her doctor is very nice- which coming from me is saying alot-- I'm not big on doctors. So I am grateful to still have Aunt Sue and to not have any "what if's" in my past about boys I wish I had married. I just adore Scott and he is-- well I can't even totally describe the place he holds in my heart. I may have cared or crushed before him but I never did LOVE before him. He has my heart, the whole thing. Hope you were able to enjoy the Blue Moon with someone you love:)

Stretched

What do you do when you are being pulled in all directions? When Gods plan for you is painful because it requires stretching and your faith feels weak? Not because you don't trust God but you doubt yourself? How about when you disappoint yourself under the pressure or be unkind to innocent bystanders? I think prayer is foremost for peace. I think Jim Hensen is foremost for humor. Bert and Ernie are very different. Bert likes paper clips, pigeons, bottle caps and lentil soup. Ernie likes rubber duckie, bubble gum, playing jokes and jelly beans. But though they don't always like the same things... they still like each other.
Ernie: You know, Bert, you're a real friend. I'm messy and you don't like messy, but because I'm your friend, you don't mind too much if I'm messy.
Bert: Well not too much.
Erine: But that is what a friend is, Bert. I mean not minding too much because you like someone. That's a friend Bert. A pal. Not minding, that's what friends are for!
We have never been so busy and under so much pressure. Yet I can feel Gods love and the blessing are all around. I know that I am not alone. I love seeing Scott serve and it is amazing seeing him in action. He has always been an incredible man but now he is him. Like he has completely stepped up to all God had in store for him. His compassion and love, his hard work and loyalty, his humor and cuteness-- all intensified. He is a humble man who I adore. He is a leader I love to follow. He is a hunter and a little obsessive but I love that too. He is getting attacked and he forgives, he really loves these people.
If just one person believes in you, deep enough and strong enough, Believes in you hard enough and long enough Before you know it, someone else would think "If he can do it, I can do it" Making it two. Two whole people who believe in you. And maybe even you can believe in you too. Robin and the Muppets
So when I am ready to quit life keeps on going. But I'm not alone and I can get better and somehow I will find out who I am and be the me I'm meant to be.

Tulips and turning points

I love to learn from stories, that is how the Savior taught. A big turning point in my life was a story told by a mother who had handicap children. Explaining what it’s like to have them after dreaming of being a mother of healthy children all your life. Well my hearts desire was to be a mom. That was all I wanted- it was my Italy. We can all relate because we all have our "Italy's"... Here is how the story goes.

Imagine your whole life you have dreamt of going to Italy. You plan on this, you study Italian, everyone knows you are going to one day go. You read guide books, take classes, collect items, and talk with others who have gone- looking at photos. You dream and anticipate, even learning a little Italian. Then after all the long years of waiting the big day comes, everyone throws you a huge going away party. You board the plane and practice Italian on the way there even eating pasta. The plane lands and the attendant says “Welcome to Holland”, you are shocked you race up there and explain how you are supposed to be in Italy. You show your ticket it is punched Italy. They are very sorry for you but there are no more flights, so Holland is where you must stay. The pain of not going to Italy is very real, you still meet people who love Italy and tell you all about, and sometimes you wonder what it would have been like to go. But you know what? If you waste your time feeling sorry for yourself about Italy… you will walk right past the Rembrandt's, Windmills and tulips in Holland.

We all have Holland’s; mine is not having children of my own (yet- I still have the next life) and trusting Gods plan for me. The story has been a huge comfort. When I first read it I cried for days and then felt stronger and not so alone. Some days are better than others and I just fall in love with the windmills. But the craving for Italian never really goes away. Jesus Christ has comforted my heart and eased my cravings and you know what? One day I trust that my plane will land in Italy. I will be the mother of choice spirits and I will enjoy it ever so much more, because I will have the memories of the Tulips.

Loves of my life... Fables

I love stories. One of my favorite memories is when my Mom , Grandma, or Aunt Sue would read me a story. I thought I would like to start adding some of my favorites to my journal. Here is the first one where President Spencer W. Kimball told the following fable to illustrate how pure thoughts and righteous living affect us:
“Lord George had led an evil life. He had been a drunkard, a gambler, and a cheat in business, and his face reflected the life he had led. It was a very evil face.
“One day he fell in love with a simple country girl to whom he proposed marriage. Jenny Mere told him that she could never marry a man whose face was so repulsive and so evil-looking; and also that when she did marry, she wanted a man with a saint-like face, which was the mirror of true love.
“Following a custom of the day, Lord George went down to Mr. Aeneas. … Aeneas made waxen masks for people, and his skill was so art-perfect that the person’s identity was completely hidden. … Aeneas went to his storeroom, selected a mask, heated it over a lamp, fixed it to Lord George’s face; and when Lord George looked in the glass, he had the face of a saint who loved dearly. So altered was his appearance that Jenny Mere was soon wooed and won.
“He bought a little cottage in the country, almost hidden in an arbor of roses, with a tiny garden spot. From then on his entire life changed. He became interested in nature; he found ‘sermons in stones, books in brooks, and good in everything.’ Formerly he was blasé and life had no interest for him; now, he was engrossed in kindliness, and the world around him.
“He was not content with starting life anew, but tried to make amends for the past. Through a confidential solicitor he restored his ill-gotten gains to those whom he had cheated. Each day brought new refinements to his character, more beautiful thoughts to his soul.
“By accident, his former companions discovered his identity. They visited him in his garden, and urged him to return to his old evil life. When he refused, he was attacked, and the mask was torn from his face.
“He hung his head. Here was the end of all; here was the end of his new-found life and his love dream. As he stood with bowed head, with the mask at his feet on the grass, his wife rushed across the garden and threw herself on her knees in front of him. When she looked up at him, what do you suppose she found? Line for line, feature for feature, the face was the same as that of the mask. Lines of beauty—regular features.”
President Kimball concluded the story, saying, “There is no doubt that the life one leads, and the thoughts one thinks are registered plainly in his face” (as quoted in Conference Report, Apr. 1975, 119–20; or Ensign, May 1975, 80–81).