Tulips and turning points

I love to learn from stories, that is how the Savior taught. A big turning point in my life was a story told by a mother who had handicap children. Explaining what it’s like to have them after dreaming of being a mother of healthy children all your life. Well my hearts desire was to be a mom. That was all I wanted- it was my Italy. We can all relate because we all have our "Italy's"... Here is how the story goes.

Imagine your whole life you have dreamt of going to Italy. You plan on this, you study Italian, everyone knows you are going to one day go. You read guide books, take classes, collect items, and talk with others who have gone- looking at photos. You dream and anticipate, even learning a little Italian. Then after all the long years of waiting the big day comes, everyone throws you a huge going away party. You board the plane and practice Italian on the way there even eating pasta. The plane lands and the attendant says “Welcome to Holland”, you are shocked you race up there and explain how you are supposed to be in Italy. You show your ticket it is punched Italy. They are very sorry for you but there are no more flights, so Holland is where you must stay. The pain of not going to Italy is very real, you still meet people who love Italy and tell you all about, and sometimes you wonder what it would have been like to go. But you know what? If you waste your time feeling sorry for yourself about Italy… you will walk right past the Rembrandt's, Windmills and tulips in Holland.

We all have Holland’s; mine is not having children of my own (yet- I still have the next life) and trusting Gods plan for me. The story has been a huge comfort. When I first read it I cried for days and then felt stronger and not so alone. Some days are better than others and I just fall in love with the windmills. But the craving for Italian never really goes away. Jesus Christ has comforted my heart and eased my cravings and you know what? One day I trust that my plane will land in Italy. I will be the mother of choice spirits and I will enjoy it ever so much more, because I will have the memories of the Tulips.