I'm an adult... I see

It hit me again at Ralph's funeral that I am an adult. I saw all these kids I grew up with and they looked old... like adults. I leaned over to Scott and asked him??? "Am I an adult? DO I look like they do?" He smiled and said "You will always be my five year old wife." I said "no really... am I old?" "Yes but you don't have as many wrinkles as your friends do" he recovered. I guess it hit me when I saw my birthday photo from last year-- I looked old. I guess the first photo was my annual pass to lagoon a few years back. At the funeral with all the people I knew and they all looked so old-- I guess I was kidding myself thinking that I was the only one frozen in time not aging. This last summer at Youth Conference all the kids kept asking me permission. It was weird... I would kind of look around me thinking why are they asking me? "Well silly-- because you are the adult-- the one in charge." OH WOW. I love all the YW and the thought that I was responsible was very sobering. I tend to be over protective. I like to play it safe. I want the girls to be happy and safe... no boys until they are 25 AND I have run a really good back ground check. Sometimes I make myself sick worrying about the little people in my life. I have to remind myself that they wanted to grow up that they voted to have agency. Sometimes I'll tell Kelsie "I want you to stay little" she says "I want to get big and be grown up". She is allready like a little adult. I loved it when all my nieces and nephews said my name wrong and cute words funny. I knw we want them to be able to talk but they grow up so fast. I have 2 nephews married one with kids. I remember holding them as babies, tending tending them. Now they are all grown up. It was nice to see some of the people from my childhood at the funeral. But is sure made me homesick. I long to spend time with my cute dad and all be together again. It is not as far away as you would think. I hope Jesus comes back soon.