Restored

Today was one of my favorite times of the year. There are 4 days each year where I gather with family and take a hiatus from the world and reflect on the word of God at my church's General Conference. Aunt Sue really enjoyed both session today. She said the first one felt like it was meant just for her and full of hope. The second session she loved because of the plain messages of what it is we believe as Mormons. We have gotten attention from the media recently which has focused on all kinds of random facets of our religion. One thing I loved today was our leaders reminding us to be honest in answering question's and that there is a difference in curiosity and interest. I love hearing the plain simple truths that I believe that resonate inside me. It is always the closest thing to joy I feel. I get happy often but the joy I feel when thinking about Christ is really different. I loved being reminded today that I am a member of a restored religion, Jesus Christ at the head. Many people don't always see us that way. Some feel that we blindly follow a made up set of theories. In two talks by Holland and Nelson they addressed questions I often hear in my travels about our church. You can read or listen to them at www.LDS.ORG. I believe that God is my literal Father, that he knows me. It is comforting to think of this. I also believe in Jesus as the Christ- which made me cry the whole 4 hours. I think about my own weaknesses, which are many. I think of the amazing blessing I do have that often I over look. I think how some things I can do so easy yet when I heard the scriptures about loving and supporting other I realized how I have fallen short. One of the talks was about what happens to one happens to all. The scripture I usually love made me cringe-- now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life— The reason for this is so painful I try to not even talk about. Because to me the scripture read-- now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
9 Yea, and are willing to be sweet to your little brother who moves all the way to Iowa; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to love your sister in law who is a wonderful daughter of God, that ye may be redeemed of God— I use to hear about brothers and sisters who have major problems and think I'm glad I don't have problems like that. My brother was my best friend, we were very close and then he married a girl from Iowa. I did not want him to do this-- she is an amazing person, so giving, hard worker, great with kids- yet from Iowa and I knew that meant bye bye. As soon as I met her family I knew they would end up in Iowa. Her aunt and sister were set on it. Then I relaxed because when they would go for a visit or talk to them back there they didn't seem as clingy as our family. I thought well we are safe, they will stay here. I really feel like I have been in a daze for the last 4 months. I was no support to them when they moved I don't even really talk to them. I'm thrilled for them and think they have to do what is best for them. But they were the only family Scott and I had here. I don't have kids to distract myself with or other family to hang out with. I know I am in the wrong. I believe that one day I will be able to bear this. I'm sure it seems petty to most and confusing to the rest- it is a long story. But I do think they are both incredible people and Iowa is lucky to have them and I will just keep repenting and trying to be a better follower of Christ. They were married in Oct. three years ago. One of the things we did was conference. Scott was sad to not have his crown burger buddy and went by himself. I'm still crying.