Oh MOM

I will start with saying if you are offended easily do not read this. My mom has a heart of gold but sometimes mixes up her words. My mom is one of the funniest people on the earth. She is funny because she is not trying to be funny.. Also if you don't laugh you cry so here are a few of her more recent more embarrassing comments. By the way I got her permission to post these...

To a fireman- "I am sad to hear they have that rule now about your pole. I never got to slide down your pole and it would have been fun!" *** this was meant to be about the fireman poles in the fire stations, which I guess someone got hurt so they don't use them anymore.

To a man from my Stake during the play- "Is this table saved?" said the elderly man. "it is saved for loose women" replied me mom. The man just smiled. I think she meant, "saved for single women or not attached to anyone else women" At least I hope that is what she meant.

To my hubbys 1st coun. who did not hear her "Hey you mustache man, what a hottie you are! If you are looking for a new partner, call me." She meant dance partner- the hottie part she basically meant. She likes hairy men.

To a police officer "There is nothing I like more than dogs in uniform!" with a big smile. She meant to say "I really like police offers in their uniforms and the police dogs with them."

To a friend I was in the play with "I know what the problem is-- your not getting enough" We're not sure enough of what, but it didn't sound right.

You can see why Scott calls her our wild card.