Risk?

I am just starting to think that maybe it is not really a risk to fly. I just flew 4 flights over 3000 miles and I am still alive. I think the sleeping grass helped me on the short 22 minute inter island flight thanks to Miranda who believes that you can't have a bad day if you touch sleeping grass. I did not even take a xanax. To clarify sleeping grass is a grass in Hawaii that when you touch it it goes to sleep and then in 20 minutes re opens up. I just enjoyed the view and we only went 13,000 feet high. It was the 33,000 foot height that took me across the ocean that bothered me. But how do I explain that I am alive? I think maybe it is just as safe to fly as it is to drive. The whole 7 nights on Kauai I thought I was cured but when it came to heading back across the ocean- I panicked. Our flight home was full of football players that were huge! It was very crowded. They had lost the game so they were sort of subdued which was a nice thing since it was so jam packed. Some of them sang song which were very enjoyable with harmony. I did not sleep and watch a little image of the plane as it slowly made it way across the ocean. I monitored the altitude. There were some bumps but I did just fine.