Conference Weekend in St. George

I LOVE my cousins! I am so very grateful that Kelly and Sean would be willing to drive me all the way to and from St. George so I could see my cute mom. She is one funny lady. We had the best time looking at old photos and listening to conference. We stayed int he house all most the whole time either playing cards or organizing, but we had fun together. I think we do best on a one on one basis. She seems to focus the best this way is does not get overwhelmed. Plus it is always nice to be with one person at a time. I could not get over how much little Sarah just adores her. She is not the best with young children- she is awesome with teens but little 3 year old Sarah thinks Aunt Mary is the bomb. She kept running to her lap and wanting kisses. It made me feel sad for my mom with now of her own grand kids since Anth and I are sort of childless. She totally loves my older siblings kids but I think it is different to have your very own and I felt sad for her. I have not been feeling sad for the last few weeks about not having a child. I think I may not be ready in this life for the adventure. That is really a blessing because it gets old to have a broken heart with children all around. For some reason I just not as into kids as I used to be. This alarms Marlene but I assure her I still love kids I just don't want any of my own anymore-- at least not in this life-- for now. Scott teased me and said "Really? because now I want to adopt"- he is a tease. Aunt Susan is looking great and it was fun to have her back to normal. Sean and I sang John Denver songs all the way home. Kelly and Teri and I had great gospel talks on the way down. Mom and I laughed and really enjoyed each other. I feel like I didn't get to really hear conference but I will just study the talks and re listen like always and I am sure it was awesome. I think for me it is best to be at home for conference with no distractions. The stand outs were the angel talk and being good in sacrament. I liked them all but they did not sin k in yet. I missed my cute honey who was keeping the home fires burning in my absence. He is in full hunting swing. He is my good buddy and I miss him in the fall:( I cried as I left St. George. I do not like going there because I think of my dad to much. His dream was to live there since he was a teenager. He came on a trip from New York as a teen to the area and decided he would one day live there. He spent his last years there and it just makes me think of him. Once my mom is gone I'm not sure I will be able to go anymore- it really hurts inside and makes me sad. I worry about my mom who has very poor health but I' not sure how to help. I pray but not sure what else to do, excpet try and bum rides to see her.