Tiny Tube

Today is the follow up MRI. I have been putting it off for months now. I'm not sure if I am afraid of the results or the test or all of the above. I do not like laying on a table for one hour and a half in a tiny tube it really feels like being buried. If only I could listen to my I-Pod or read or have a soft cushy thing to lay on. I am going to close my eyes and imagine I am with Scott on a trip to Canada. There was this perfect day years ago when we were hiking together and there was a soft spot on the ground that I rested on. It was in partial shade and the sun would peek at me in between the branches. It felt like warm kisses form heaven. Scott and I talked about all he loved about the outdoors. I was so exhausted I was not even thinking of the bugs and dirt and earth and bad guys or the other million things that flood my mind while I am out of doors. As a child I'd roll down a grassy bank and not give a thought of all that. Another trick I play during difficult tests is that God is holding me on his lap. I use this frequently when I fly on airplanes. Sarah wanted to talk to me on the phone and tell me she had pigtails in and that she loved me. That gives me a measure of courage as I think of the numerous children who face medical tests. In fact earlier in the week on my day off I had tests done and this darling little baby boy was just screaming at having to give blood. The poor mother looked very distraught. This is a photo of Scott and Bell and I taken last month. It is another image in my mind. I guess that I was really believing that if I ignored this it would go away. Today I face the tiny tube maybe we can work together, that is superior to me fighting it. I also scheduled Aunt Sue next appointment they can't stabilize her blood thickness and Scott has a myriad of ails. I order a new sleep mask for him so one thing down and a tube awaits.